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Are You the Bad Friend?
I had to learn the hard way.
When I read the New York Times piece, “Who Is The Bad Art Friend?” I was disturbed. If you’ve managed to miss the controversy surrounding the article, essentially it’s about lawsuits between writers. (Or here’s the original.) As the days unfolded, more evidence has come to light that has further deepened my distress. I’m not invested in the players here, rather what their story says about the human condition.
At its heart, the tale is about friendship and betrayal. Thanks to this thoughtful exploration of the story’s details, I got to thinking about how friendships have evolved in my lifetime. Growing up as I did in a dysfunctional home with poor boundaries, I was quick to befriend and codependent in my attachments. This led to a string of disappointments, starting with the hurt I felt when my best friend in grade school, Missy, chose to spend time with her boyfriend instead of me, all the way up to a friend of many years who quietly left my life.
What I’ve learned from these losses was not something I’d learned at home—though ultimately it did help within my family—and that was the power of deep self-honesty. Hard-won as the lesson has been, I hadn’t really thought about its turning point until the Bad Art Friend story started circulating.
